Reassessing what is important to you
can feel challenging. When it comes to prioritizing to get the most out of our personal life or relationships, a lot of us lose our ease to get things done. We may feel excited to the point of disorientation because of self-consciousness or some mental restraint. In this episode I’ll reveal to you what it boils down to. Let me know about your thoughts or questions after watching. I’d love to hear them.
Now, as a high performer, I don’t need to tell you HOW to prioritize because I expect you to be very good at it. As a matter of fact, the people I work with are remarkably achievement oriented and therefore know how to get things done. It’s as if they live to accomplish goals, tasks or projects. No matter the challenge or list of tasks they’ll put things into order and take every necessary step to get the job done. So, in this video, it’s not about HOW to prioritize but reassessing what is important to you.
As just mentioned, high performers are highly productive. They seem to manage their work responsibilities effectively. However, when it comes to prioritizing to get the most out of their personal life or relationships, a substantial amount of them lose their ease to get things done and become giddy because of self-consciousness or some mental restraint.
Dealing with what?
To deal with this, the first question that needs to be answered here is: what is it exactly that you’ve been avoiding to deal with? What on your personal list or social responsibilities is not getting done? Is it a friend that you need to call? A partner that needs your full attention? What are we dealing with here? It could be anything or anyone you’ve been neglecting intentionally or unconsciously overlooked because of carelessness. What is it exactly? What are those things that needs to be dealt with?
Then, when you know of these things, your next question to answer is: why are you dodging it? Because, it’s not only worth to know what’s not getting done on your list but also why. Is it because they’re ambiguous in someway (because you don’t exactly know what is expected from you)? Is it because you don’t know how to approach it? Why are you resisting to take action? Why are you on that path? Why are you here, not getting done what needs your attention?
So, the first question is: what are you dealing with; what is that thing on your list that is not getting done? Second, why are you dodging it; why avoiding to deal with this (resisting to take action)?
Take a look inside to see
Here’s the thing: unless we actually take the time to look inside ourselves to actually notice and become aware of our spirit’s track, we’ll never really achieve any deep spiritual connection that allows us to experience the worth of our personal and social goals. We will rather keep on ignoring them because it feels like it doesn’t align with who we are and what we have in mind. We’ll never change our priorities because it’s just not important to us. And because of that, some things on your list will never get done consciously, let alone wholeheartedly.
What you want is what you’ll see and therefore prioritise
Now of course, we have to be honest to ourselves. We might have been prioritizing work over family, work over friends, friends over family (whatever it might have been). If you’ve been spending more time at the office working like a horse, or spent more time with one group and less with the other, it’s not strange to have some negative ideas about your (social) absence.
You might feel bad and as a sort of a compensation you bought flowers (or some gift) in advance to at least neutralize the situation. If you’ve tried this, you know that doesn’t really do the job. You’re at most trying to settle with your own guilt feelings instead of really being there in time and space and connecting. So, the question here, just like with any other goal that needs careful planning, ask yourself, what do I really want to achieve and why do I want this?
So, if you know what is at hand (the first question), why you’re dodging it (second question), you’ll have to answer why this very thing/goal is on your list anyway. You ask yourself: why do I want to achieve this?
Now, the key here is blunt honesty. Take enough time to answer this because if it’s not answered well, you’ll give importance to something else, not achieving what might be important to you or necessary in that situation. What you want is what you’ll see and therefore prioritise. So, if this thing on your list is not what you really want, you’ll most probably give importance to something else.
Answering these three questions will not only make clear to you what is important to you but it will also reveal patterns (of your earlier prioritization methods) that were not conducive to the relationship because of dishonesty (to yourself and therefor to others) or unawareness. Usually, we just see too little of what we really want or have to see. And therefore: It should also help you get a better understanding of what’s in you and how that might be of service to the things or people around you. Although it might not be in accordance with the expectations of others (partner, friend, in-laws, colleague, brother, sister or anyone else) you’ll be more confident in dealing with it when you know: what it is you’re dealing with, why you’re avoiding to take action, what is really important to you…in any situation.
Make it a habit
Yes, there are going to be these situations of course where we you’ll probably have to hit on the autopilot button and just do what is expected from you but if you build yourself a habit of knowing what is to be prioritized you’ll find some flexibility and openness even in those seemingly unchangeable situations or difficult social goals.
So, for those seemingly difficult tasks and goals on your personal and social to-do-list take your time to (re)assess what it is you’re prioritizing. Ask yourself these three questions:
- What on your personal list or social responsibilities is not getting done?
- Why are you resisting to take action?
- Why do you want to achieve this? Why is this very thing/goal is on your list anyway?
Take your time to connect with yourself, reflect and transcend…because, this is what it all boils down to. It’s about discovering what is beneath surface. Discovering even the smallest things can make the biggest difference in your life.